Dogs That Want to Please

About 30 years ago I had an elderly trainer tell me the most important quality to seek in a dog is a desire to please. Over the years I have often considered that advice, and found it very profound. I believe most dogs do want to please their owners, and this trait is exactly what makes dogs the precious companions they are. But as a trainer, I do run into a handful of dogs each year with little or no interest in pleasing people. The most challenging cases I see involve dogs not wanting to please, living with owners seeing no issue with that missing ingredient.

The problem is compounded, because dogs with no interest in pleasing an owner can behave very well - as long as the owner is doing its bidding. When these owners occasionally require their dog to do something other than what it wants to do, then aggression and other challenging behaviors can surface very quickly. To be clear, I'm talking about simple requests (get in the car), expectations (stay off the couch), or rules (quit pulling on the leash). These dogs are not anxious or responding out of fear, but strive to have their way. Left unresolved, these issues often lead to risks, problems, and liabilities for the owners.

Given the dog is missing the "wanting to please" ingredient, these are by no means easy dogs with which to live. Only very strong and determined owners will have the mettle to get them to a safer and better place. But no problem will improve if an owner is failing to recognize and understand the gravity of what's going on. Because these pets can be so pleasant when things are going their way, many owners think their dog's issues are small, or that training is making their dog aggressive. The reality is this is a big issue, and training simply sheds light on the existing problem. Owners often begin living on eggshells around these dogs, and refuse to see this behavior as aberrant. Good dogs don't use their teeth to push an agenda. Good dogs don't really push an agenda at all.

A good trainer can help owners sort out reasons for various behaviors, and set them on a path for improvement. But no trainer has control over whether an owner will take to heart professional recommendations. In the end, every owner is free to make their own choices regarding their dog. Owners should appreciate that a busy trainer will work with more dogs in a week, than they will probably live with during their lifetime. A dog's willingness to please is not measured by how it behaves when things are going its way - it's measured by how accommodating it is when asked to do something it would rather not do.